Before:

When I was a toddler we did not go to church but my mother would talk to me about God.  I did not like Him.  She would wag her finger in my face and growl, “God will punish you”.  My brother and I were too familiar with being punished.  God was just another authority figure whose job it was to hurt me.  Look at what he arranged for his own son. During this time I kept a big list of promises to my future children in my heart.  God certainly was not in the promises.

During:
All I wanted to do was to grow up, get out of town, land a good job and find a nice husband. Check, check, check, check…asked and answered. My husband and I tried church for awhile, but not for long. Problems resurfaced for me when I had my sons.  I knew I was not going to beat them, but I did not know much else.  I felt afraid, overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated about parenting. When the boys were old enough to start pre school, I “decided” to send them to a Christian preschool. I laugh because I thought it was my idea, but now I can see clearly that God started to make me aware that he took care of me all those years even though I ignored and even scoffed at Him. 
The transformation was not instant  On the first day of school the pastor’s wife invited me to Bible Study and I wanted to run away fast.  Instead, God started me on a new plan had me say “yes”. I could not believe I said that!!  I squirmed and eye rolled through a lot of Bible Studies at that little preschool, trying to figure out how to quit.  Eventually I realized that I felt good when I was with the Christian women, I felt safe with them, there was peace that I never felt before.

After:

Eventually, some truths started to penetrate my stubborn head such as:  God is good and the sacrifice of Jesus was for my salvation, not some cruel murder planned by an evil father. Even though I misunderstood and avoided God for years, He welcomed me back with the same love that He would have given me if I never strayed.
Praise God for His infinite love and patience.