Yes, my daughter Joy was married this past Saturday, and it was a glorious celebration! Adam and Joy are tremendous young people who want to honor God in all they do. It was beautiful event, and everyone seemed to have a fun and memorable time.
In the days following the wedding, I have reflected on the memorable moments of the ceremony and the reception. I thought about how happy I was to see everyone else so very happy, most importantly the bride and the groom. To tell you honestly throughout the entire planning and celebration I was continually filled with peace and joy. As I considered the specific reasons why I never felt frazzled it occurred to me they may be worth sharing with others, because they not only apply to the Mother of the Bride but to life in general. So here are a few life lessons learned from the Mother of the Bride:
- Focus on what really matters. In a wedding, what really matters is honoring the bride and groom and making it a wonderful experience for the guests. It is not about showing the world what a great event-planner I am. Also, it is important to continually keep in mind that the marriage is more important than the wedding. In life we must always readjust our focus in order to remember it is not about me, it is about honoring God and serving others. We must continually and deliberately turn our focus to the bigger picture of eternity and fix our eyes on Jesus.
- Fret not about gossipers and complainers. “What will others think?” ought to be four little words that are banned from your brain as you plan a wedding. Remember, you will never be able to please everyone. Someone who enjoys gossiping and complaining will still do it no matter how perfect or traditional or expensive your wedding is, so don’t try to please them. This is your daughter’s wedding, not theirs. Generally speaking we ought to always live to please one person and that is God. He wants us to love Him and love others. He does not call us to live our lives with the goal to impress others.
- Enjoy the moment. The wedding goes by so fast. Before you know it the couple is preparing to run through the gauntlet of rice, birdseed or bubbles and drive away. During the entire event I encourage you to set worrying aside, be flexible and enjoy the people and the festivities. Live in the moment! Embrace it! Similarly, choose to enjoy the place in which God has placed you and the people He has brought into your life. Why waste time complaining and arguing? It all goes by so quickly.
- Put the right people in place. We prayerfully and carefully selected the florist, photographer, DJ, printer, cake lady and wedding coordinator. They all did their jobs incredibly well and made the event a great success (email me if you want their names and numbers). It makes all the difference when you have people in place who do their jobs well. In life we must recognize we can’t do everything, but we can associate and connect with others who are talented in specific areas where we are weak. Be wise and prayerful as you bring others on board to help you do what you cannot do on your own. We need each other and most importantly we need the Lord. Where we are weak, He is strong.
- Love. That’s what a wedding is celebrating anyway. Love your guests, love your family members (even the annoying ones) and also extend God’s love to the wait staff and people who are working with you. There is great joy when we sincerely reach out and love those around us with a kind word, a warm smile and a helping hand. Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not proud or rude. It is not easily angered…love never fails. The wedding event will be a success if you extend love and kindness to all. Equally, you will experience joy in life as you reach out and choose to love the people around you.
Well, that’s my top five lessons learned as we went through the wedding process. I hope you found them helpful. One last thing I must mention, I can testify to the fact that when you pray and give your cares to God, He will give you a peace that passes all understanding. Every time I felt even a twinge of fear or worry, I gave it to God and sought His direction (with thanksgiving) and I want you to know He is faithful! Joy and I decided that every Wednesday leading up to the wedding would be “Wedding Wednesday Prayer Night,” so on Wednesday’s we got on our knees together and gave every aspect of the wedding to Him. Remember to cast your cares on Him for He cares for you!