Tag: Positive Woman Connection

Are You In a Rut?

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Join us at Positive Woman Connection. Donna Skell will be our speaker.

Tuesday, August 24 from 12 – 1 at Prestonwood Country Club.

Here are some thoughts about facing disappointments.

In a Rut

Are you stuck? I mean emotionally stuck, grieving or frustrated by the way things turned out. Getting stuck can happen to any of us, often without our even recognizing it. We may be traveling delightfully along life’s pathway, when—boom!—things change, and we must adjust. Often our emotions are still lingering in pain. When our heart sinks at the loss of a dream, we can be deeply saddened because things didn’t turn out as we thought they should or would. We can grope through a wide range of feelings such as frustration, disappointment, anger, and grief.

We must adequately face our grief, but we must also accept our new set of circumstances and move on. The challenging question is how do we move through grief and toward acceptance? Most of us have never taken a course in “How to Handle Disappointment.” We simply stumble through the emotions and pain, hoping to find joy once again. How do you know if you are stuck in a rut? Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are your thoughts constantly consumed with your disappointment?
  • Do you continue to rehash the situation over and over again in conversations?
  • Are you holding a grudge against the person who hurt you?
  • Do you keep playing the if-only-this-hadn’t-happened scenario in your mind?
  • Are you savoring a poor-me mentality?
  • Do you repeatedly tell people who are trying to help you, “You just don’t know how hard my life is”? (Exception: if you are in an abusive situation, be honest. Get help and tell a counselor or friend how bad it is immediately.)

 

If you identified yourself in any of these statements, you may be stuck, but you can move forward. I know it has been hard and you must grieve over your loss, but there comes a time when you need to climb out of your sadness and grief and move on. Honestly, it is easy to wallow in a rut without recognizing it. Some people stay there because they like playing the victim role. Others enjoy the attention they get from their sad story. Many people stay in a rut simply because they don’t recognize they have fallen into it, and they haven’t thought about how to get out. They just don’t know how to take a first step toward happiness again. Yes, we must grieve our loss, and at a certain point we must move on.  Next week’s blog will talk about some steps to take in moving forward.

This blog entry comes from an excerpt of my book Thrive, Don’t Simply Survive – Passionately Live the Life you Didn’t Plan (Howard Books, Simon & Schuster)

Great Connections

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Booksigning at Lifeway in Austin

This weekend I participated in a book signing with three other wonderful authors, Carol Floch, Gail Showalter and Janet Davis.  It was a great opportunity to connect not only with a few customers, but with other authors and even with the Lifeway bookstores employees.  In fact, one of the girls I met there shared a little of her life story with me, and it actullay fits perfectly into a book which I am currently writing.  Great connections are a God thing. He puts us together in His own way and time and for His purpose.  Always be open to the surprising ways He connects people.

I’m thankful for my friendship with Carol Floch.  God connected us years ago as I used to teach school with Carol’s sister and served on a board with her dad. She is a dear sister in Christ and a gifted writer.  This weekend she signed her new book, The Single Mom’s Devotional: A Book of 52 Practical and Encouraging Devotions.  If you have any friends who are single moms, this is a perfect devotional book for them, but honestly it is great for every mom.  Carol even let me write the forward of the book.  I know it will be a great blessing to your friends.  Here’s a description of her book:

When Carol Floch realized that her marriage was about to end and that she was about to join the ranks of moms left to raise their children on their own, she could not stop crying. She mourned her shattered hopes and grieved the loss of the family she had always dreamed of. But mostly, she cried for her children. Into Carol’s grief, regret and fear, God’s Spirit came with a message from Psalm 84: “Build your nest near my altar, and I will be your children’s source of security, protection, provision and blessing. In The Single Mom’s Devotional, Carol tells her story and shares with the “sisterhood of single moms” how they can build their family’s “nest” in the protective shadow of God’s presence. Single mothers, whether on their own after a divorce or a husband’s death, will discover how to find true life in Christ and allow the strength of that inner life to be the compass by which they navigate an unpredictable future. Near God’s altar—the cross of Christ—is where single moms will discover life through relinquishment, power through dependence and hope through surrender. Anchored at the foot of the cross, readers will find daily security and hope as they nourish their souls and nurture their children at a place near God’s altar.

Strengthening the Family

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 We had a wonderful time at PWC last week with our guest Janee Harrell teaching about finding our identity in Christ.  It was a great lesson teaching us to be open, honest and real.  Also, this week Curt and I celebrated our anniversary.  Here’s a few thoughts about marriage that I want to share with you.

Our Anniversary Trip, climbed a mountain!

‎“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times – always with the same person.” M. McLaughlin

This week Curt and I celebrated 28 years of marriage!  Can you believe it?  I know you must be thinking that we got married when we were 12 years old by looking at our pictures, right?  Okay, at least I was hoping you were thinking that.  As far as marriage is concerned, the reality is every marriage has its unique set of challenges, because we are two unique people, with two unique sin patterns joining together to try to live life as one.  

It’s not always easy, but marriage can certainly be a joy and a blessing not only to you as a couple, but to your kids and your community.  It’s worth working on and fighting for, because God uses marriage as a foundational structure of society.  And who can deny that our society desperately needs good strong marriages today to help our next generation on their way?  Here’s a few important thoughts in strengthening your marriage that we’ve tried to implement in our home.

Forgive and ask forgiveness often.

Pray together every night before going to sleep.

Build each other up with words and kind actions.

Do not put down your spouse with your words.

Encourage each other’s gifts, talents and interests.

Go on dates together as often as possible.

Laugh together.

Look to the Lord (not your spouse) to meet your emotional needs.

Examine your own heart instead of always blaming your spouse.

One last thought, this week on Family Life Today radio I heard a couple share their story of how God resurrected their dead marriage to become a loving and vibrant relationship in Christ. They reminded the listeners that if we really believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, then why can’t we believe that this same God can resurrect dead marriages.  If you are currently struggling to hold your marriage together I want to first encourage you to seek God’s help and visit a Biblically-based counselor.  I also want to encourage you to go to the Family Life website ( www.familylife.com )  as a great resource.

Surround Yourself with Sharp People

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Jody Capehart, Donna Skell and Karol Ladd

   “Walk with the wise and you’ll be wise.  A companion of fools suffers harm,” Solomon

 Looking forward to seeing you this week at PWC, Tuesday at 12:00 at Prestonwood Country Club. Our speaker is Janee Harrell. You are in for a treat.  See you soon.  Here’s a little reflection from the writer’s conference Donna and I hosted this past weekend…

We never stop learning!  We grow and mature from life experiences, but we also learn from the people God places in our lives.  Surround yourself with wise people who encourage your growth both mentally and spiritually.  Solomon reminded us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Who sharpens you?

This weekend I was involved in hosting the 4th annual Christian Writers Conference through Roaring Lambs Ministries.  It was a tremendous event.  Although I was a speaker at the conference, I was also a learner.  I was surrounded by wise and seasoned authors like Mary DeMuth, Jody Capehart, Mary Hollingsworth, Allison Botkke, June Hunt and Kerby Anderson.  This was an opportunity not only for fresh writers to develop their skills, but also for mature writers to grow.

Kerby Anderson’s message especially hit home with me as I learned the importance of understanding our culture in order to reach them with the message of Christ.  I was personally challenged to be aware of new avenues for sharing my message and to stay current in order to speak truth in today’s society.

Concerning our message, he told us to consider:

– Uniqueness: how are you different?

– Expertise: what makes you credible?

– Branding: expert or keen observer

If we are to be effective in sharing a message of truth to the unbelieving world, we must be intentional about learning, adapting and growing.  I encourage you to walk with the wise and surround yourself with people who will challenge you and help you see new potential and possibilities all around you.  Keep on Growing!

To learn more about Kerby Anderson go to www.Probe.org or www.Pointofview.net

My Fifty Sense

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The Big 5-0!

“If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old.”  James Garfield

This past week I turned fifty.  Yes the big 5-0!  It honestly wasn’t so bad.  The highlight for me was on the day of my birthday I met with some friends in downtown Dallas to attend a luncheon for Sheila Bailey’s ministry.  After the luncheon my friends and I walked across the street to First Baptist Church Dallas.  I grew up in this church, and I first trusted Christ as my savior through it’s ministry.  I was also baptized and married there, so it holds many life memories for me personally.  But the highlight wasn’t just being there on the church grounds, the best part was that we went up to the prayer tower,  got on our knees and prayed together.  We prayed for our city, for our friends and for each other.  It was a great way to celebrate my fiftieth. 

I must admit I do love fun birthday cards, and there is no shortage when it comes to turning 50.  One friend gave me a card that read: 

                “In dog years, you’d be 350, but in Giant Redwood years, you’d only be about 3 ½….See? Turning 50 is all in how you look at it!” 

Well, the card is right. Perspective is everything!  I must admit I still feel like I’m 30, so I’m not going to let my actual age bother me.  I hope as I am getting older, that I am also getting wiser.  I’ve been pondering some of the truths I have learned over the years and am trying to apply to my life for the next fifty years.  So here’s my Fifty Cents (Sense) Worth of living with wisdom.

  • Focus on loving God more, and focus on myself less.
  • Serve more, and demand less.
  • Love more, and get annoyed less.
  • Seek God’s direction more, and seek my own agenda less.
  • Care about eternal things more, and get upset about temporal things less.
  • Give more, and keep less.
  • Listen more, and talk less.
  • Learn more, and eat less.
  • Choose joy more, and choose bitterness less.
  • Encourage more, and complain less.

 

Most importantly the older I get the more I am amazed at God’s greatness.  Let us all pay attention to the way He works, the way He comforts, the way He loves and the way He reveals His mighty power in our lives.

Psalm 36:5-9

5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,
       your faithfulness to the skies.

6 Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
       your justice like the great deep.
       O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

7 How priceless is your unfailing love!
       Both high and low among men
       find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

8 They feast on the abundance of your house;
       you give them drink from your river of delights.

9 For with you is the fountain of life;
       in your light we see light.