Are You In a Rut?

August 22, 2010Leave a comment

Join us at Positive Woman Connection. Donna Skell will be our speaker.

Tuesday, August 24 from 12 – 1 at Prestonwood Country Club.

Here are some thoughts about facing disappointments.

In a Rut

Are you stuck? I mean emotionally stuck, grieving or frustrated by the way things turned out. Getting stuck can happen to any of us, often without our even recognizing it. We may be traveling delightfully along life’s pathway, when—boom!—things change, and we must adjust. Often our emotions are still lingering in pain. When our heart sinks at the loss of a dream, we can be deeply saddened because things didn’t turn out as we thought they should or would. We can grope through a wide range of feelings such as frustration, disappointment, anger, and grief.

We must adequately face our grief, but we must also accept our new set of circumstances and move on. The challenging question is how do we move through grief and toward acceptance? Most of us have never taken a course in “How to Handle Disappointment.” We simply stumble through the emotions and pain, hoping to find joy once again. How do you know if you are stuck in a rut? Ask yourself the following questions:

Are your thoughts constantly consumed with your disappointment?
Do you continue to rehash the situation over and over again in conversations?
Are you holding a grudge against the person who hurt you?
Do you keep playing the if-only-this-hadn’t-happened scenario in your mind?
Are you savoring a poor-me mentality?
Do you repeatedly tell people who are trying to help you, “You just don’t know how hard my life is”? (Exception: if you are in an abusive situation, be honest. Get help and tell a counselor or friend how bad it is immediately.)

If you identified yourself in any of these statements, you may be stuck, but you can move forward. I know it has been hard and you must grieve over your loss, but there comes a time when you need to climb out of your sadness and grief and move on. Honestly, it is easy to wallow in a rut without recognizing it. Some people stay there because they like playing the victim role. Others enjoy the attention they get from their sad story. Many people stay in a rut simply because they don’t recognize they have fallen into it, and they haven’t thought about how to get out. They just don’t know how to take a first step toward happiness again. Yes, we must grieve our loss, and at a certain point we must move on. Next week’s blog will talk about some steps to take in moving forward.

This blog entry comes from an excerpt of my book Thrive, Don’t Simply Survive – Passionately Live the Life you Didn’t Plan (Howard Books, Simon & Schuster)

Great Connections

August 16, 2010Leave a comment

Booksigning at Lifeway in Austin

This weekend I participated in a book signing with three other wonderful authors, Carol Floch, Gail Showalter and Janet Davis. It was a great opportunity to connect not only with a few customers, but with other authors and even with the Lifeway bookstores employees. In fact, one of the girls I met there shared a little of her life story with me, and it actullay fits perfectly into a book which I am currently writing. Great connections are a God thing. He puts us together in His own way and time and for His purpose. Always be open to the surprising ways He connects people.

I’m thankful for my friendship with Carol Floch. God connected us years ago as I used to teach school with Carol’s sister and served on a board with her dad. She is a dear sister in Christ and a gifted writer. This weekend she signed her new book, The Single Mom’s Devotional: A Book of 52 Practical and Encouraging Devotions. If you have any friends who are single moms, this is a perfect devotional book for them, but honestly it is great for every mom. Carol even let me write the forward of the book. I know it will be a great blessing to your friends. Here’s a description of her book:

When Carol Floch realized that her marriage was about to end and that she was about to join the ranks of moms left to raise their children on their own, she could not stop crying. She mourned her shattered hopes and grieved the loss of the family she had always dreamed of. But mostly, she cried for her children. Into Carol’s grief, regret and fear, God’s Spirit came with a message from Psalm 84: “Build your nest near my altar, and I will be your children’s source of security, protection, provision and blessing. In The Single Mom’s Devotional, Carol tells her story and shares with the “sisterhood of single moms” how they can build their family’s “nest” in the protective shadow of God’s presence. Single mothers, whether on their own after a divorce or a husband’s death, will discover how to find true life in Christ and allow the strength of that inner life to be the compass by which they navigate an unpredictable future. Near God’s altar—the cross of Christ—is where single moms will discover life through relinquishment, power through dependence and hope through surrender. Anchored at the foot of the cross, readers will find daily security and hope as they nourish their souls and nurture their children at a place near God’s altar.

A Quiet Week

August 10, 2010Leave a comment

The Dogs and me in Austin

“How rare it is to find a soul quiet enough to hear God speak!” Francois Fenelon

This past week, I’ve been in Austin working on a book based on the book of Colossians. I must admit I am overwhelmed by the treasures of truth we learn about Christ in this amazing book of the Bible. It’s been wonderful to be in the quietness of Austin, having time to think, pray, contemplate and listen to the Creator’s voice.

I want to encourage you to take some quiet time to consider the facts about Christ which are laid out in Colossians. I’ve written a few of them below. Ponder what these attributes of Christ mean to you personally. In fact I would encourage you to prayerfully take one of these attributes each day and allow God to speak to your heart concerning Christ. Let’s continually grow deeper still in our knowledge of Him.

He is the visible image of the invisible God.
He is the firstborn (supreme) over all creation.
By Him all things were created.
He existed before everything else began.
He holds all creation together.
He is the Head of the church.
He is the firstborn of all who will rise from the dead.
In everything He has the supremacy – He is supreme over all, the first in everything.
All God’s fullness dwelt in Him and through Him.

God reconciled all things through Christ, by making peace through His blood shed on the cross

Strengthening the Family

August 2, 2010Leave a comment

We had a wonderful time at PWC last week with our guest Janee Harrell teaching about finding our identity in Christ. It was a great lesson teaching us to be open, honest and real. Also, this week Curt and I celebrated our anniversary. Here’s a few thoughts about marriage that I want to share with you.

Our Anniversary Trip, climbed a mountain!

‎“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times – always with the same person.” M. McLaughlin

This week Curt and I celebrated 28 years of marriage! Can you believe it? I know you must be thinking that we got married when we were 12 years old by looking at our pictures, right? Okay, at least I was hoping you were thinking that. As far as marriage is concerned, the reality is every marriage has its unique set of challenges, because we are two unique people, with two unique sin patterns joining together to try to live life as one.

It’s not always easy, but marriage can certainly be a joy and a blessing not only to you as a couple, but to your kids and your community. It’s worth working on and fighting for, because God uses marriage as a foundational structure of society. And who can deny that our society desperately needs good strong marriages today to help our next generation on their way? Here’s a few important thoughts in strengthening your marriage that we’ve tried to implement in our home.

Forgive and ask forgiveness often.

Pray together every night before going to sleep.

Build each other up with words and kind actions.

Do not put down your spouse with your words.

Encourage each other’s gifts, talents and interests.

Go on dates together as often as possible.

Laugh together.

Look to the Lord (not your spouse) to meet your emotional needs.

Examine your own heart instead of always blaming your spouse.

One last thought, this week on Family Life Today radio I heard a couple share their story of how God resurrected their dead marriage to become a loving and vibrant relationship in Christ. They reminded the listeners that if we really believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, then why can’t we believe that this same God can resurrect dead marriages. If you are currently struggling to hold your marriage together I want to first encourage you to seek God’s help and visit a Biblically-based counselor. I also want to encourage you to go to the Family Life website ( www.familylife.com ) as a great resource.