Tag: Positive Woman Connection

5 Tips for Positive Conversations At the Holiday Table

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Gathering around the table is a special time for family and friends to connect, share, laugh, and eat…a lot. Our hope is for happy conversations as we reflect on shared memories and common interests. But the dream of delightful discourse doesn’t always play out as we wish. How can we build on the positive and manage around the negative at our holiday table? Here are a few thoughts:

Initiate the Positive – Start your interactions with an uplifting tone, looking for ways to sincerely encourage those around you. Guard against grumbling, gossiping, or complaining. By focusing on what is good and praiseworthy, we create a positive atmosphere in the home. Let’s be on the lookout for ways to build one another up, show gratitude, and bring pleasant words to the table.

Ask Good Questions – Think of a few good and appropriate conversation starters to add if there is a quiet moment. Questions such as: What is one thing you are thankful for from this past year? What is the best book you have read this year? What is one satisfying accomplishment you have achieved this year?

 Keep in mind that you can also use questions to defuse a challenging or abrupt statement. What has led you to believe that way?  Can you tell us how you arrived at that point? Questions like these can open up an opportunity for someone to share their heart.

You can also use questions to defer a conversation until later. Would you mind if we talked about that topic after the meal? I really want to hear what you have to say, but it may be best to talk about that subject later.

Listen Well – Pay attention to what others are saying rather than trying to promote your personal viewpoint. Being a good listener means not only listening to the words someone is saying, but also noticing their tone and body language. Everyone has a desire to be seen and heard, so give the gift of your attention and help build an atmosphere of kind conversation. Again, if someone brings up a perspective you disagree with, ask a good question. Tell me more about why you feel that way, and I’d love to share my perspective with you as well. Would that be okay?

Don’t Be Easily Offended – Sometimes we need to allow statements to roll off of us like water on a duck’s back. Try not to take things personally, but rather attempt to understand why someone said what they said. Recognize that everyone says foolish and/or offensive statements at times. They are not always trying to offend. Silence can be a powerful tool to dissuade a heated conversation, so let’s be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Forgive people’s random comments and choose to be unoffendable.   

Maintain a Kind Tone – How we say things can make a monumental difference in the way they are received. Instead of sternly questioning, “Why would you say that?” Employ a kind tone and say, “Help us understand a little more about your point of view.” Kindness, humility, and respect are qualities of love that reflect and honor the Lord. Let us demonstrate His love in all we say and do, while holding onto His truth.  

Finally, I am not implying that we shift or move from what is right and true. God’s word offers life-changing truth. We can lovingly lead people to the foundational principles we find there through kind and healthy discourse.  Always remember that God’s ways seem foolish to unbelievers, so let us first point lovingly to Him. The apostle Paul’s description of love can be our motto in all our conversations this holiday season.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Simple Ways to Thrive in 2025

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I love the first day of January! To me, each new year is filled with the potential to improve on the past. Sure, we’ve had accomplishments in the past year for which we can be grateful, but with the turn of the year comes the opportunity to rethink, regroup, and reconstruct for the future. I like to keep things uncomplicated and doable when it comes to a fresh start in January. Allow me to share three practical routines that help me take steps forward – perhaps they can encourage you as well.

Plan each day the night before. As I close out the end of each day, I take a moment to consider what needs to be done for the next. Typically, I write down the top three priorities that must be accomplished and then think through a general schedule for the day. I also make a list of who I need to call, email, or text. This has become a game changer for me over the years, as I sleep more peacefully and wake up ready to jump into the day.

Get up and get out. Whether it is a brisk walk outdoors, a trip to the gym, or a stroll to the local coffee shop, we all need physical activity and the social encounters that go with it. At our house, we have a giant white fluffy alarm clock known as our faithful dog. She demands a walk every morning, rain or shine, Saturday or not, so we don our sneakers and take her around the neighborhood.  Not only do we start our day with a breath of fresh air and a little exercise, but we typically make new friends along the way.  

Take some time each morning to pray and meditate on God’s Word. Find a quiet place and begin a daily routine of praising God, thanking Him for His blessings, and giving Him your concerns and worries. Dedicating daily quiet moments can equip you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally for the joys and challenges you face. Seeking God’s wisdom and direction and acknowledging your need for Him sets you on a path of finding your strength in Him. When we give our day to God, the twists and turns we encounter become opportunities to say, “Father God, I know you are in charge. What would you have me to do or learn through this situation?”

These are three simple practices, I know, but influential nonetheless. I hope this year will be filled with mercy, love, and peace for you and those around you. Let us seek to love God more deeply and to love others more sincerely in 2025.

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

Choosing a Positive Direction for the Fall

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Oh the joy of gathering together and finding a common connection! As summer fades and the school year begins, let’s take deliberate and positive steps into a new season of connections. One of the ways we can deepen our friendships as women is to study the Bible together. Several years ago, I reached out to my neighbors to see who would be interested in starting a neighborhood study. A handful of women began to gather over cups of coffee and an open Bible. It was beautiful. Friendships were born.

This fall, we are starting our fourth year of growing together. We call ourselves “House to House” Bible Study because we meet in different houses each week and simply study the Scripture together. We are non-denominational, non-political, non-gossipy, and non-grumbly. Our group has grown to many women outside our neighborhood, and the connections continue to deepen as we walk through the truths of the Bible together. If you live in the north Dallas area and or want to join us via Zoom, please email me at Karol@Karolladd.com (subject line Bible Study) and I’ll send you more information.

Many of the women in our group have never been to a Bible study before, while others are well-versed in His Word. It’s a lovely mosaic of people from all different denominational backgrounds. I’ve found that in general, women are hungry for fellowship and hungry for truth. Neighborhood Bible studies offer both.

Wherever you are, I want to encourage you to connect with the people God puts in your path. Reach out over a cup of coffee with neighbors and invite them to join you as you grow in truth. You can simply study the Bible or study a book that points to Biblical truth. I’ve listed several of my books below that are perfect for reaching out and gathering women together. Ask God to give you the courage to make positive steps of connection this fall as you encourage women with His love.

Here are some of my books that make a great group study:

No Complaining. Really?

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If I challenged you to cut out complaining and arguing from your life for an entire week, could you do it? What about for a month?  Now we are getting a little difficult. What if I challenged you to stop complaining and arguing for the rest of your life? Wait! Don’t stop reading this blog! I’m serious. Let’s just take a look at the possibilities here. The apostle Paul actually wrote to the Philippians that they should do “everything without complaining, grumbling or arguing.”

Now perhaps you are thinking, Aren’t there times when we need to stand up for ourselves? Surely God doesn’t intend for us to never talk about our difficulties. Yes, there is a time and a place for wisely and respectfully sharing our concerns, but the bigger issue we need to consider is how do we handle life when it doesn’t go our way. Here’s what Paul wrote:

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life. Philippians 2:14- 15.

Paul is encouraging us to shed some bad habits, so that we may shine Christ’s light more brightly in this dark world. Often complaining and grumbling are  born out of pride, anger or a lack of faith. We think we know what is best and when things don’t go as planned, we tend to get our feathers ruffled. Sometimes issues of unforgiveness or bitterness are lingering in our heart, causing us to complain and argue.

Is it really possible to live without grumbling? To be honest, we all have a tendency to grumble and complain – it is our basic human nature. But God can do a mighty work in our lives through the power of His spirit within us. He can transform our grumbly heart into a grateful one. Here are three ideas to put into practice the next time you feel a need to complain.

  1. Turn your eyes upward and thank the Lord for the good things He is doing. One of the greatest antidotes to complaining and whining is to take our focus off of the frustration and look instead at our blessings. As we sincerely thank Him for the ways He has worked in our lives, then we also begin to realize God can take care of our present situation. We don’t need to be spouting off about every problem that comes our way.
  2. Pray for guidance. Anytime we are about to grumble, we must ask ourselves a simple question, “Have I prayed about this?” As we seek God’s wisdom on how to handle the situation, we can ask Him to help us grow through it as well. Prayer allows our worries to dwindle. When we bring our challenges to God first, then we do not give worry an opportunity to set in. Like logs to a fire, worry and anxiety fuel complaining and whining. Faith says, “I will trust God’s unfailing love through this challenge.”
  3. Take positive action. There are times when we do need to present our point of view or our concern, but we can do it without grumbling or whining. Instead we can wisely, patiently and kindly present our thoughts or perspective to the right person. Let’s be willing to be a part of the solution, and look for what we can do rather than focusing on what we can’t do.

Every opportunity to complain is actually an opportunity to grow in our faith and trust in the Lord. Ultimately, when we truly believe God loves us and has a good purpose for our lives, then grumbling, whining and bickering tend to dissipate. May we be bright shining lights as we show an unbelieving world that we trust a big God.

This is an excerpt from my book, A Woman’s Passionate Pursuit of God. Click the link below for more information about the book and DVD based on Philippians.  https://positivewomanconnection.com/books/#biblestudy

 

 

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

True Positive: Day 12 – Work

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Our work can bring us joy, enrich our lives and even increase our positivity. Projects, chores or responsibilities give us a sense of accomplishment and commitment to a greater cause. Work often gives us the opportunity to serve others and to get our minds off of our own self-centered problems. We learn and grow as a person through hard work and perseverance. Certainly, we must be careful to keep a balance in life and not take on too many responsibilities which may increase stress. Additionally, we must avoid complaining and grumbling – which we will talk about in tomorrow’s post.

Let’s teach out kids that work is not something to be avoided, but rather something to be embraced. Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ (Colossians 3:23,24).” Find joy in your work by thinking of your work as an opportunity to serve Christ. When you have down days (which we all do), ask God to give you a fresh viewpoint or a new perspective to help you see a greater purpose in your work.

Some of the happiest people I know are also some of the hardest working people I know. Don’t avoid work, embrace it and discover a new strength and confidence as a result.