As we begin a new year, we have the opportunity to make a fresh start and begin positive new habits. You may be like me in that you want to continue to grow in wisdom and truth each year, especially in a culture that seems to be heading away from those foundations. How can we allow our roots to grow deeper in what we know we can trust?
There is no greater source of wisdom and truth than the Bible. Let’s make this year a time of digging in and reading God’s Word. Not just listening to what others have to say, but really getting to know the Bible ourselves. In it, we find the beautiful story of redemption woven through every page. We learn about the God who loves us and sent His son to offer His life as payment for our sins.
Let’s resolve to read the Bible daily and feed on its principles. I personally like the One Year Bible, which offers a reading in the Old Testament, the New Testament, a Psalm, and several proverbs. You can also find the One Year Chronological Bible, which I did last year, and loved it.
The Bible is a treasure. It is a spiritual book that must be spiritually discerned, so ask for His Spirit to guide you in all truth as you read. I recommend the ESV Study Bible if you want to delve deeper into specific passages. My point is, let’s not neglect the greatest source of wisdom and truth for our lives. May we make it a goal to read the Bible every day, and become men and women who know and love what is good, pure, and admirable.
You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – Jesus
Gathering around the table is a special time for family and friends to connect, share, laugh, and eat…a lot. Our hope is for happy conversations as we reflect on shared memories and common interests. But the dream of delightful discourse doesn’t always play out as we wish. How can we build on the positive and manage around the negative at our holiday table? Here are a few thoughts:
Initiate the Positive – Start your interactions with an uplifting tone, looking for ways to sincerely encourage those around you. Guard against grumbling, gossiping, or complaining. By focusing on what is good and praiseworthy, we create a positive atmosphere in the home. Let’s be on the lookout for ways to build one another up, show gratitude, and bring pleasant words to the table.
Ask Good Questions – Think of a few good and appropriate conversation starters to add if there is a quiet moment. Questions such as: What is one thing you are thankful for from this past year? What is the best book you have read this year? What is one satisfying accomplishment you have achieved this year?
Keep in mind that you can also use questions to defuse a challenging or abrupt statement. What has led you to believe that way?Can you tell us how you arrived at that point? Questions like these can open up an opportunity for someone to share their heart.
You can also use questions to defer a conversation until later. Would you mind if we talked about that topic after the meal? I really want to hear what you have to say, but it may be best to talk about that subject later.
Listen Well – Pay attention to what others are saying rather than trying to promote your personal viewpoint. Being a good listener means not only listening to the words someone is saying, but also noticing their tone and body language. Everyone has a desire to be seen and heard, so give the gift of your attention and help build an atmosphere of kind conversation. Again, if someone brings up a perspective you disagree with, ask a good question. Tell me more about why you feel that way, and I’d love to share my perspective with you as well. Would that be okay?
Don’t Be Easily Offended – Sometimes we need to allow statements to roll off of us like water on a duck’s back. Try not to take things personally, but rather attempt to understand why someone said what they said. Recognize that everyone says foolish and/or offensive statements at times. They are not always trying to offend. Silence can be a powerful tool to dissuade a heated conversation, so let’s be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Forgive people’s random comments and choose to be unoffendable.
Maintain a Kind Tone – How we say things can make a monumental difference in the way they are received. Instead of sternly questioning, “Why would you say that?” Employ a kind tone and say, “Help us understand a little more about your point of view.” Kindness, humility, and respect are qualities of love that reflect and honor the Lord. Let us demonstrate His love in all we say and do, while holding onto His truth.
Finally, I am not implying that we shift or move from what is right and true. God’s word offers life-changing truth. We can lovingly lead people to the foundational principles we find there through kind and healthy discourse. Always remember that God’s ways seem foolish to unbelievers, so let us first point lovingly to Him. The apostle Paul’s description of love can be our motto in all our conversations this holiday season.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Little eyes are always learning. In fact, they often learn faster and quicker than little ears. We can try to teach life lessons through our wonderful words of wisdom, but if our children aren’t seeing it in real-time as they observe our lives, the lesson is often lost. “Do as I say, not as I do,” just doesn’t fly.
My grandpa Sandy was a wonderful example to me. His resourcefulness, wisdom, and kind demeanor made me want to live up to his standards. Although he lived hundreds of miles away, he was still a light and an influence to me whenever we were together. So what are some practical ways to set a glowing example as parents or grandparents? Allow me to offer several simple thoughts:
Let them see you being Kind and respectful toward others. Make a genuine and sincere effort to be thoughtful to everyone you encounter, from waitstaff to cashiers to neighbors. As our children observe our kindness in action, they will learn one of life’s most valuable lessons.
Let them see how you handle a challenge or a crisis. If we hope to raise resilient kids, then we must demonstrate how to face difficulties with wisdom, peace, and fortitude. One of the greatest actions we can show our kids is how to handle the ups and downs of life. When we pray for God’s help in the midst of frustrations or heartaches, we are helping them learn to seek God’s guidance through life’s storms.
Let them see you apologize. Let’s be honest, we don’t always get it right. We rarely respond exactly as we want. There are times when we must ask for forgiveness. Just because we are older doesn’t mean we are perfect. When we apologize, we teach our children humility, forgiveness, and how to say I’m sorry.
Let them see you laugh. Find joy in life and share it with others. Smile often. Play games, tell jokes, read silly books, and go to fun places. Help your kids learn to enjoy life as you share a hearty dose of happiness from your own example.
Sometimes the way up is down. Not too long ago, I read a book called Humility, in which author Andrew Murray reminds us that true humility comes from recognizing our complete dependence on the Lord. We can’t even be humble on our own – we need the humility of Christ, which comes through the power of the Holy Spirit. So, let’s begin our journey to being a great example for the next generation by humbly asking the Lord to help us. We can’t do this on our own.
Sincere encouragement is like water to a thirsty soul. Deep within every heart there is a longing to be known, seen, heard, and appreciated. Often in the hectic pace of life, we miss the moments to share an uplifting word, a loving smile, a thoughtful hug, a handwritten note, or simply just being available. As grandparents have an unique opportunity to bolster the hearts of our little ones.
Now I’m not suggesting that we shower our grandkids with fake flattery. Kids can spot insincerity faster than a squirrel can bury a nut. Effective encouragement must be straightforward and specific. Instead of saying, “You’re the greatest…..in the world,” (which I think I can safely assume they are not), say something like, “I saw how hard you practiced for the game. Your persistent preparation paid off!” You can add, “I noticed how patient (or kind or precise or thoughtful) you were during the game. Great job.” Now you have given them a gift that is meant specifically for them.
Here are a few effective ways to spur on and uplift our grandkids:
Write notes on a regular basis. The lost art of writing a letter can be a special gift to this young generation. Share a scripture you are praying for them. Tell them that you love them. Give them a specific and uplifting boost from your heart to theirs. Whether they live near or far, a simple note can mean the world to them and create a bond between you. For young ones, simply send a picture along with an I love you. It may be helpful to choose one day a month as your letter-writing day to grands.
Look for opportunities to speak life giving words. Whenever you are present with your grandkids, you can discover ways to embolden them. Look for moments to motivate them. Sure, it’s easy to spot someone doing something wrong. We must be extra vigilant to catch them doing something right. Seize every opportunity to say a good word about their hard work or character. If you are watching their games or performances long distance, you can still deliver a positive message of support.
Smile, hug, listen. Sometimes the best way to strengthen the heart is non-verbal. I like to say that a smile speaks a thousand words. It says, “I love you. I’m thrilled that you are mine. You are precious to me.” Even a facetime or video smile can boost the spirit. There are also times when our kids simply need a hug or a listening ear. Never underestimate these powerful forms of inspiration and motivation to uplift our young charges.
The root word “cor” in encouragement comes from the Latin word for heart. When we offer sincere and specific words of support for our grandkids, we are actually strengthening their heart. Who doesn’t need a little heart-strengthening in today’s world? Let’s be intentional about uplifting and inspiriting others, especially the next generation! No more grumpy grandparents – right?
For more ideas and encouragement for you or your kids, check out Karol Ladd’s books on Amazon.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18
Our hearts are grieving for those who have lost loved ones in the horrific disaster that happened along the Guadalupe River this past weekend. As we sort through the thoughts, feelings, and details of these events, I want to offer a prayer, a word of comfort, and ways we can help.
First, we must not dismiss the power of prayer or take it lightly. We have the privilege of going to our compassionate Heavenly Father and taking our hurts, cares, confusion, and requests to Him. I want to encourage you to set aside some time alone with Him to grieve and cry, and also ask for God’s comfort for all the families affected. The Bible tells us that God provides a “peace that passes all understanding.” He wraps His loving arms around us in times like these in ways that are beyond our comprehension. He is the God of comfort and knows how to meet us at our point of greatest need. Join me in prayer:
Father, our hearts are heavy with the loss of so many innocent lives. We don’t know how to comfort the hurting, but You do. Lord, we ask that you would lovingly care for and help the families we know personally, as well as all the ones throughout our state who are hurting from this loss. Lord, provide the loving arms that we are not able to provide right now. Heal their heart-wounds as only you can do over time. Help them find their hope and solace in you. Please be with the rescue efforts and help them to find all who are lost. We thank you for those who were rescued, and we ask for more miracles along the way. Lord, show us how we can help and serve, in Jesus’ Name, Amen
Secondly, a word of comfort. God is with us in our darkest hour. In death, He lovingly ushers His children into His presence. Psalm 34:7 says, “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” That deliverance is not from every bad circumstance here on earth – that deliverance is into His presence when we die. It is hard to understand why God may allow some to go to their Heavenly home early, but we do know that He lovingly ushers His beloved there. And they would not want to come back! We grieve the loss of their lives here, but His precious children are more alive than ever in His presence.
Times like these remind us of the brevity of life on this earth and spur us on to care for those around us with a deep and sincere love. We also begin to think of the reality of eternity and the joy of Heaven, which Jesus provides. Still, the sadness and grief on this earth are real, and we should not ignore the pain that they bring. May we live each day with an eternal perspective and yet a sensitivity to the heartaches of this world, knowing that this is not our final destination.
Finally, what can we do to help those who are in need?
Southern Oaks Church in Kerrville is accepting a variety of donations to support flood relief. Here’s their link: https://southernoakschurch.com/
Community Foundation of Texas Hill Country created the Kerr County Flood Relief Fund that supports relief and rebuilding efforts. The Community Foundation will direct funds to vetted organizations providing assistance in Hunt, Ingram, Kerrville, Center Point, and Comfort. Here’s the link to donate: https://cftexashillcountry.fcsuite.com/erp/donate/create/fund?funit_id=4201
And for those of you who know someone who has personally lost a loved one, ask the Lord for guidance and direction in how you can specifically help. Find out if they are taking food (or if a food train has been established) and bring them a meal. Sometimes I give a comfort basket with comforting items such as a journal, tea, mug, blanket, chocolates, etc. I encourage you to send a note or card as well. Don’t say too much – simply say you love them and are available to them. Our tendency sometimes is to try to explain why God allowed this or cheer them up, but we need to let them grieve and let them know we are thinking of them and care about them. Most importantly, they need to know you are there for them now and in the days to come. They will have a long journey of recovery.
Let us remain prayerful for our fellow Texans and seek God’s direction on how to love and help those who are hurting.
Positive Woman Connection 