Secrets to a Happy Marriage

July 31, 2017July 31, 2017Leave a comment

Curt and me

This week my husband and I celebrated our 35^th wedding anniversary. While no marriage is perfect, there are a few things that can strengthen the relationship between husband and wife. Here’s my short list of ways to increase the happiness in your marriage and keep the home fires burning.

Positive Practices

Communicate in a loving tone
Pray together every day
Forgive, forgive, forgive – continually
Maintain hope
Listen well
See the best in your spouse
Smile, laugh, go on dates together
Build on your common interests and hobbies
Appreciate the differences
Overlook the small stuff
Greet your spouse with joy (take a lesson from your dog on this one)
Reflect on what brought you together in the first place
Agree to disagree at times
Be a content and joyful person
Find your identity in Christ, not your spouse

Some Don’ts:

Don’t use the words “always” or “never”
Don’t demand your own way or think you know it all
Don’t nab and nit-pick at each other
Don’t hold on to past offenses or grudges
Don’t let technology isolate you and diminish your communication
Don’t depend on your spouse for your own personal happiness

The apostle Paul described love this way, “⁴Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (I Corinthians 13)

I don’t know about you, but I fall short of that description of love in many ways. The good news is, this description of love gives us a picture of God’s love toward us. How wonderful to know that God genuinely loves us and that we can ask Him to pour His love through us. May His love be very real in your life today.

True Positive: Day 21 – Encourage Others

July 27, 2017July 27, 2017Leave a comment

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Are you an encourager or a discourager? The word “encourage” means to give strength to another person. The root word, “cor” is the Latin word for heart. When we use our words or actions to sincerely encourage others, we offer strength for their heart. Let’s be honest, this world is full of sadness and hurt, and most people are hungry for an uplifting word or a kind acknowledgement.

James M. Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan wrote, “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.” It’s true! When we take the time to honestly and specifically build up another person, we ourselves are strengthened and uplifted. Yet, if we use our mouths to grumble and criticize, our personal joy is diminished. Let’s be builders, not destroyers!

Solomon said, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” How will you use your words today to make a positive difference in the life of another person?

Chasing Happiness

March 5, 20171 Comment

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Spring in Dallas just doesn’t make sense to me. On any given day we may have a freeze warning at nightfall and 80 degree temperatures by the very next afternoon. It’s crazy! They say if you don’t like the weather in Texas, just stay around for a couple of hours and it’ll change.

One March morning several years ago, I stepped outside to get the newspaper and was hit with blizzard-like conditions. Well it may not have been that extreme, but it was one of those take-your-breath-away cold fronts that felt like a blizzard to this thin-blooded Southern girl. By mid-afternoon of that very same day I was sitting out in the garden reading and enjoying some good ole Texas sunshine.

Personally, I love to be outside and love to read, so when I can find the time to enjoy both it is a happy afternoon. On this particular spring day, my personal reading agenda was the book of Philippians in the New Testament of the Bible. Written by the apostle Paul while he was a prisoner in Rome, one could easily assume Philippians would be a real downer of a book. On the contrary it is quite a delightful and uplifting read. In fact, the theme of joy sort of oozes through the pages from this unlikely author.

As I relaxed and tried to picture how Paul could possibly write such a positive message from a prison cell, I glanced up to see a white butterfly dancing around our garden. It was amusing to watch this fluttering creature touch a flower here, then off again to another flower there, then here, then there, then back to where it started again. It never stayed in one place for more than a few seconds as if it were pursuing something it would never find. Just as quickly as it appeared in my garden, it was off to the next field of flowers.

Observing the illusive dance of the white butterfly made me think about how illusive life’s pleasures can be. Just like this flitting creature, I realized how easy it is for me to flit, flutter and fly from one activity or person to another trying to find sweet nectar to satisfy my longings for significance and joy. I’m guessing you have felt those same feelings a time or two as well. The pursuit of happiness is common to us all. The question is where does the chase stop, or does it? Are we fooling ourselves into thinking that there is something out there that will enrich our being and fill the hunger of our souls?

The irony of my butterfly encounter on the Spring day in Dallas, was that I was sitting there reading a book which highlights enduring qualities which transcend shifting circumstances and fleeting feelings. Paul (yes, from his prison cell) described a resilient joy, a consistent contentment and a peace which passes all understanding in his letter to the Philippians. Unlike the flitting butterfly, Paul taught the early Christians how to experience a true satisfaction of the soul.

So we must ask ourselves, “Does God call us to pursue happiness or to pursue Him and His purposes in our life?” I am convinced that our pursuit of Him leads us to experience a heart full of joy and true contentment as we live out His purposes in our lives. I want to encourage you to read the book of Philippians this week and consider what God teaches you about Himself.

“To seek God is to desire happiness; to find him is that happiness.”

Augustine

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This is an excerpt from A Woman’s Passionate Pursuit of God. The DVD is on sale this month for $5. Click Here for more information.

The Joy of Meditating on His Word

February 12, 2017February 12, 20171 Comment

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Meditation is where God’s Word meets our hearts. Perhaps the reason so few people meditate on God’s Word, is because it means we must slow down and be attentive to it. Let’s admit it, our society today is going in the opposite direction. Most of us would describe our lives as busy and distracted, with a huge deficit of still time and attention to people and God’s Word. So how do we do it? What does it look like in a practical sense to meditate on the Scriptures?

Meditation is a continual action; it’s a bit like breathing. Breathing out our cares and selfish concerns and breathing in the truth of His Word. In both the Joshua and the Psalms passages, we see the implication of meditating day and night. Even the passage from James speaks of the continual action of looking intently into His Word. Think about it this way, when we go for a swim, we are actively swimming and breathing. But when we stop swimming, we are still breathing (hopefully), and we continue to breathe day and night. As we read and contemplate passages from the Bible during our daily swim, we can meditate on the passage by continuing to think and ponder it throughout our day.

Let’s experience what I’m talking about right now. Stop for a moment and be still. Breathe out your cares and worries that you are possibly carrying around in your mind and heart right now. Give them over to the Lord in prayer and thank Him for His care and His presence. Now let’s breathe in a truth from His Word. Thoughtfully read the following passage several times. You may even want to say it aloud if you are by yourself.

I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with loving-kindness

(Jeremiah 31:3).

Think about each word. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you and speak into your heart. Ask Him to show you something fresh and new from this passage. Write down the thoughts that come to you on the lines below.

What simple truth can you take with you throughout your day today?

How does this truth change you personally?

Simply put, meditation is being attentive to what the Scripture is saying and breathing it into your daily life. I encourage you to consider and ponder on a thought or phrase from your daily swim (your daily Bible reading). You may want to write a verse or phrase on an index card and carry it with you during the day. The thing that sets Christian meditation apart from all the other types of meditation is that our meditation is centered on God’s truth, the Bible.

This is an exerpt from Becoming a Woman of the Word.

Click Here for more Information

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Look for the Possibilities

July 6, 2016Leave a comment

Great opportunities come to all, but many do not know they have met them. The only preparation to take advantage of them is simple fidelity to watch what each day brings. Albert E. Dunning

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It seems a bit ironic that a visually impaired woman would encourage others to have focus and vision. Helen Keller didn’t let her challenges keep her from looking at the possibilities in her own life. Born in 1880, Helen became both blind and deaf at nineteen months of age due to a childhood illness, yet she was the first blind and deaf woman to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree and authored a dozen books and numerous other writings. In her book We Bereaved she wrote, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

Where are you looking? Have you allowed your eyes to zoom in on the frustrations that are right in front of you, making them seem larger than life? Or are you looking at the bigger broader picture – the picture that includes possibilities and hope? There are always possibilities around the corner, but we need to be looking for them instead of dwelling on what we don’t have. I like to say that the “B” in Plan B stands for beautiful. Often we think our Plan A was the perfect plan and that Plan B is second rate. Have you ever considered that Plan B is God’s Plan A and He can do a great work despite our disappointments and even our mistakes?

It may be difficult to conceive in your mind that anything good could come from hurt, pain and loss whether it is a physical, financial or a family tragedy in your life. We must be honest and grieve through the sadness that life brings. We don’t want to ignore our disappointment and hurt in our heart, but we also don’t want to close our mind’s eye to the redemption God can bring in the toughest of situations. It may take time and perseverance. Plan B may be difficult, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t doable. Perhaps the “B” in Plan B means “Be patient.” Allow God to do His work in His way, and do not despair for there is always hope.