building relationships – Positive Woman Connection

Born in New York City in 1912, Ben Feldman is considered to be one of the most outstanding salespeople in history. At one point, he held the world record for the most life insurance product sold by a salesman in a career, with his name appearing in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Ben was one of nine children, born to immigrant parents Isaac and Bertha Feldman. When his family moved to Ohio, his first sales job was in his family’s wholesale poultry business. He started his career in life insurance sales as a young adult. Interestingly, when asked to do speaking engagements, he often refused due to stage fright. He eventually agreed to speak to audiences only if he was interviewed from behind a curtain, so he didn’t have to view the audience. Despite his fear of speaking on stage, he seemed to have a gift for talking with people one-on-one.

He often said that salespeople must learn to listen with three ears.

They should listen to…

…What the prospect says.

…What the prospect doesn’t say.

…And what the prospect would like to say, but doesn’t quite know how to say it.

Whether in sales or in family life, we can learn from Ben’s positive principles. Listening is one of the greatest keys to connection with others. When we are deliberate about listening well, we help the other person feel loved, seen, and heard. So how do we become good listeners?

Here are a few thoughts:

Maintain eye contact.
Minimize distractions.
Decide in your mind that this person has something worth saying.
Pay attention to body language.
Ask good questions to help you further understand what they are trying to say.

As we pay attention to what the other person is trying to communicate, we build a bridge of understanding. Let’s be intentional about our listening skills. We can begin at home, with our kids and grandkids over the dinner table, in the car, and when we are putting them to bed at night. Let’s extend our caring hearts to friends, neighbors, co-workers, and clients. May we be a light to others, not simply by our words but also by lending an ear.

A portion of this blog is from my book, Positive Connectivity. Check it out on Amazon by clicking here.

We live in a society that is attached to our mobile devices. In fact, psychologists recently coined the term nomophobic (no-mobile phone phobia) for those who have a fear of being without their phones. Honestly, who doesn’t have a bit of a sinking feeling when their phone is nowhere to be found? Perhaps we all are a little nomophobic now and then. Yet, despite the fact that we are constantly electronically connected, most people feel disconnected when it comes to human relationships.

A recent Harvard study found that 36% of Americans are experiencing “serious loneliness.” Whether we are engaging with friends, family, clients or business relationships, we must go beyond merely messaging or emailing to experience a true sense of understanding and connection.

One thing we have learned through the recent global pandemic is that people are not created to be completely isolated from one another. On the contrary, humans need authentic interaction. In fact, most people thrive through healthy connectedness – feeling heard, seen, and valued by another person. In the next few weeks on this blog, I want to help you spark that kind of positive and lasting connection. I want to encourage you to relate in a deeper and richer way with the people in your life, both family and friends.

How does that kind of connection happen? We will explore areas such as perception, presence, the power of words, perspective, potential and purpose. Bottom line, when we think about satisfaction in life, it begins with the satisfaction of experiencing lasting and meaningful relationships. Let’s never stop learning to build deeper and stronger connections with the people God puts in our lives.

Check out my new book, Positive Connectivity.