Building Connections Through Engaging Conversations

June 24, 2018Leave a comment

rawpixel-584292-unsplash

When it comes to making a connection with other people, a stimulating question can be our most effective tool. Whether in business, relationships or family life, bridges are often built through asking and listening rather than instructing or demanding. Engaging in meaningful and kind interaction is especially important when we are with people who have opposing points of view or see life differently than we do.

It’s not a bad idea to keep a few thoughtful questions at hand to open up dialogue and ignite positive conversations. Here are a few of my favorite questions:

What do you think about ________________? This opens up the door for you to discover another person’s point of view and where they stand on an issue or situation. This is an opportunity to listen, not to vent your opinion or stand up for your point of view or ideas. Simply listen and ask more questions.

What makes you feel that way? With this simple question you are able to dig a little deeper than surface level and find out some of the reasons behind a persons words, actions or opinions. Everyone has a story, but few people take the time to listen.

What do you want? Most people have hopes, desires and dreams but rarely verbalize them. This question is full of potential and allows the other person to identify what they are really after, both short term and in the big picture of life.

In what ways do you need help? You may not be able to solve all their problems, but you may be able to do something or point them to someone who can. In many cases, they just need is a listening ear and to know someone cares enough to ask.

Let’s have the courage and strength to listen with love and understanding. We will learn and grow as we open up the door of conversation and ask questions that lead to truth and discovery. Use questions as your tools and wisdom as your guide in building bridges, rather than burning them.

Invite Karol to share with your group on the topic of ”Thrive, Don’t Simply Survive.” Email Tammy at: positivelifeprinciples@gmail.com

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Narrowing Our Focus

June 18, 2018Leave a comment

ankush-minda-547827-unsplash

Ever feel slightly scattered? Do you have days when you run in twenty different directions, yet never seem to accomplish anything on your To Do list? Between the distractions on our cell phones, interruptions of the unexpected and overloaded schedules, most of us find it difficult to simply move from Point A to Point B of our daily agendas.

One way to help us stay focused and on task is to apply what I call the “Principle of Three.” Generally speaking, our brains find it easier to remember things in threes. In writing, the “Rule of Three,” suggests that a trio of three characters or events are more satisfying, effective and even funnier than other numbers (The Three Little Pigs, The Three Bears, Three Blind Mice). And of course, every preacher knows the power of a 3-point sermon. The Principle of Three is seen throughout nature: three primary colors, three parts of a human (body, mind and spirit) and three beings in the Trinity (Father, Son, Spirit).

If we apply the Principle of Three to our daily lives it can help us narrow our focus, build on the essentials and reduce the distractions. Here’s a few ways to put it into practice:

Write out your To Do List each morning (some prefer to write it out the night before), then choose 3 priorities from the list. What 3 things are essential to accomplish for the day? Use a highlighter to designate your top 3 priorities and work steadily to accomplish them. With a focus of 3, you are more likely to remember and accomplish the essentials for each day.
Instead of writing yearly goals that fizzle by March, consider creating a list of 3 objectives that you want to accomplish in the next 3 months. Having a quarterly focus will allow you to stay on target and keep your aim in sight.
For each of your quarterly objectives, write out 3 doable action steps. For example, if one of your objectives is to lose 5 pounds, you may want to list your action steps as:

Exercise 5 days a week
Cut out sugar and white flour from diet
Eat before 6:30 pm every night

There are many other ways to apply the Principle of Three to your personal life. Start each day with this combination of 3: pray, read, and count your blessings. You will find that your perspective is clearer and your outlook on life is brighter.

In what ways can you apply the Principle of Three to your daily routine?

Contact Karol to speak to your group on the “Principle of Three” – positivelifeprinciples@gmail.com

Photo by Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Developing Grit

June 10, 2018June 11, 2018Leave a comment

alex-guillaume-433919-unsplash

Would you consider yourself mentally tough? In other words, are you able to push forward despite setbacks, disappointments and mistakes? I believe the potential is within us to strengthen our mental resolve and develop a mindset that allows us to take positive steps forward, especially when the going gets tough.

When the tragedy of 911 occurred in this nation, the US Military needed to train additional Navy SEALS, but they had one problem. Although many recruits began the grueling program, only a small percentage actually made it all the way through, as many quit before completion. Of course the Navy did not want to change the challenging standards to become a SEAL, so they explored what they needed to do to help more recruits complete the strenuous program.

They began to examine the common denominators of those who have grit – the quality to be able push through obstacles even when they felt like giving up. One of the basic factors they found was mental toughness and positive self-talk. Telling yourself, I can do this, rather than thinking, I’m not cut out for this, is one of the keys to getting through the most demanding circumstances. As the Navy began to apply this research, equipping their recruits with mental tools to help them rise up to their obstacles, their passing rates increased by ten percent.*

Negative and defeating thoughts can easily pop into our minds, especially when things don’t go as planned. One way we can turn our self-talk in a positive direction is to memorize certain phrases to repeat to ourselves, especially when we feel like throwing in the towel and quitting.

As a successful businessman, my dad kept a 3 by 5 card in his pocket to pull out at times when he needed an encouraging reminder. Here’s what was written on his card:

I can do this!
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.
God is the strength of my life.
The harder I work, the better I get.

Whether you choose a famous quote, a scripture or an encouraging phrase, fill your mind with what is true, noble and admirable. We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can choose our focus. Know what is important to you and where you want to go in life. Remember you are not alone. Be willing to invest the time, strength and mental grit to overcome obstacles and reach toward your dreams.

Leadership 2

Check out Karol’s book, Positive Leadership Principles for Women for more inspiration and encouragement.

Photo by Alex Guillaume on Unsplash

*Eric Barker, Barking Up the Wrong Tree (New York, NY: Harper One, 2017) p. 63.

Overcoming Comparisons

June 5, 2018Leave a comment

todd-diemer-220621-unsplash

Many years ago I coached high school track. One important lesson I taught to my sprinters was to keep their eyes on the finish line. If a sprinter takes even a second to glance at the runners on either side of her – she’s lost the race. In running as well as in life, we must learn to keep our eyes on the race we are running and not become distracted by comparing ourselves with others. Easier said than done, right? As women, we so quickly begin to compare with the other women around us. All it takes is a quick glance at Instagram and our mind starts rolling. She’s prettier, she’s better, she does it all, I’m a nobody, I’m a failure….

It’s a trap we can easily stumble into, and in the process we become dissatisfied with who we are and what God has planned for us. We tend to lose sight of what our purpose is in life. Perhaps that’s why the apostle Paul, with his powerfully purpose-filled life, was able to say, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God is calling me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Just as a sprinter keeps her eye on the goal or the finish line, so we need to keep our eyes fixed on the purpose God has given us and not be distracted by envy, jealousy or comparisons. True maturity is when we can look with joy at how God is blessing others and sincerely be thankful for the way God uses each one of us in a variety ways and in different styles.

There is only one you. God made you with a unique set of gifts and talents and with a distinctive purpose in this world. When we keep our eyes on the fact that God is at work in and through us to accomplish what He put us on this earth to do, we begin to feel a joyful confidence. We can rejoice in our assignment in the big scheme of life. On the other hand, when we start looking at everyone else and begin to compare ourselves with others, we either become prideful or we become jealous. Comparisons tend to zap us of our strength, distract us from our purpose and throw us off course from our goals.

Positive Life Strategy

Positive Truth: God has a unique plan for each one of us which He carries out

using the gifs and talents He has given us.

Plan of Action:

Guard your mind against comparing with others by turning your focus upwards.
Ask for God’s help and direction as you use your unique gifts and talents.
Open your eyes to the blessings that God has given you right now.
Thank Him for His unique plan for your life every day.
Rejoice in who the Lord is and the work He is doing in your life as well as in others.
Be happy with others for the good things happening in their lives.

Pay it Forward

Celebrate someone else’s success by letting them know that you are rejoicing with them. Write them a note, bring them flowers or do something kind for them as you give thanks for the wonderful and unique plan God has for their life. Consider someone who has recently experienced a blessing in their life, whether an achievement, an honor or a promotion. Maybe it is someone who has just gotten married or had a new baby. You may even want to consider someone who has sparked a slight bit of jealousy in your mind. Determine to be truly happy for them and honor them for the good that has come to them.

9780736950114_p0_v1_s260x420